Balance

Cambodia WAS all that, and more. Loved it. If you haven't already seen these, you can check 'em out: http://picasaweb.google.com/lindsnol/CambodiaAndSingaporeVacation#.

As for adoption...I'm just going to go ahead and get it out there: I can be obsessive. This is not the greatest attribute a person can have to begin with, but I think adoption can cause the most laid-back person to obsess on a daily (possibly hourly) basis. As soon as I get a response/answer to one thing, I'm on to the next. And oddly, when it feels like there is nothing I can obsess about, I feel worse than if I were doing my thing.

You see, there are very few things that adoptive mothers/father-to-be actually can control in this process. If I were actually pregnant I could do all sorts of productive things every day, or at least every week. I could start buying stuff and getting the baby's room ready without feeling that I would jinx myself. I could tick off the days and see my belly grow and think about my baby at each stage. I could read books...well, I'm doing plenty of that.

The paperwork phase was good for productivity. There was a mound of requirements, and I could tick each task off neatly as accomplished. Now, everything depends on someone else, or someone's government. We were told that our dossier was supposed to be in Ethiopia by the end of the week. Well, end of the week is here and haven't heard anything. Why is this important? Because now I can start waiting for a court date!

And here's another thing: I'm an extremely optimistic person by nature. With that, I'm just going to go ahead and think that it's possible for us to get a court date before rainy season. Now my brain also tells me that this is unlikely, and I shouldn't set myself up for disappointment and...more obsessing. But really, is there any other choice?

At school, a good day involves me actually doing my planning/grading during my planning period, and leaving school feeling like I was actually doing my job properly that day. Sadly, that was the case probably 2/5 days last week. It takes so much willpower not to...

1. Write the mysterious lady at USCIS twice a day and ask her about our fingerprints
2. Search through my agency's bloglist and older posts for information on...you name it
3. Look at Ethiopian/African baby names online
4. Research Ethiopian climate patterns from the last 10 years
5. Look at flights to Ethiopia...

And the list goes on.

But, when I get home, and talk to my husband, I find sanity. We drink a beer together, cook dinner, and listen to music. We talk about other stuff--holidays, moving, gossip, family, school, AND adoption. He balances me.

Cambodia Take 2

We're off to Ancient Khmer, after an early and successful day at the US Consulate in Guangzhou. That's right--I-600A--check! Fingerprints--check! We had a few frustrating moments upon arriving at the consulate, as I thought we had an appointment, but instead had to wait/push our way into a very 3rd-world-like-"line", instead of the orderly Americaness we were expecting (hoping for). Oh well. Eventually we got to hand in all of our papers, and then a very nice man helped with the fingerprinting. I tactfully tried to figure out how we could help speed up the results without really asking. The answer: nothing, of course--wait for government bureaucracy, just like everyone else. Bummer.

BUT...now we're on holiday! While baby girl will stay on my mind, it will be fantastic to have a distraction for the next week. Plus, we have a sad history of trying to visit Cambodia and failing, so it is time to MAKE IT HAPPEN. Plus, we get a couple of days in Singapore at the end. 2 new countries in a week? Could be worse. :) xoxoxo til the next time

News

It has been an exciting couple of weeks.

We received word that our home study was completed on Easter Sunday. Fantastic. Monday it was notorized and arrived in Shekou yesterday (in ONE day!!). I DHL-ed the IAG copy* this morning, along with a few other do-overs for our dossier. We will now take it to US consulate along with every other type of paperwork imaginable and file our I-600A on Friday. This is a big deal. Along with this super important document filing, we will get fingerprinted for the FBI clearance. Supposedly the results will take 4-6 weeks.

Otherwise, there is more big news, but nothing we can celebrate too heartily just yet. Our hearts are a-stir, and there have been a few sleepless nights. I'm thankful for all prayers and Melatonin. Both did the trick last night and I conked out for 10 hours straight. Back to my old self...sorta.

We leave for Cambodia late Friday night (after the consulate trip). I think it will be a perfect way to keep our minds occupied, see some awesome famous stuff, and relax (hopefully). Gotta love teacher holidays. :)

*World Partners Adoption/ International Adoption Guides (IAG) is our agency! I don't think I've announced here before, so if anyone reading this is in the research stage, please contact me and I can give you our personal perspective. We are VERY happy to have chosen this particular agency.

New hobbies while we wait...

Include:

1. Kung Fu. So far I've only had one class, but I'm pretty sure I am a natural. Except...it involves a lot of choreograph-type-moves, which is not my strongest asset since I never had any kind of dance class in my life. And, being slightly competitive I always think I can push the limits a little too far, which resulted in extremely sore hamstrings for about 3 days (I was trying to kick as high as the instructor).

2. Guitar. I bought Shannon a guitar this weekend. He's always talking about how he wants to be able to rock out, so I decided to help him get started. It's been fun for me too, and takes me back to highschool days when all my friends and I were trying to learn how to play. Some were actually quite successful. I've realized that the internets makes learning how to play songs a lot easier and more fun. Shannon has already learned one song! ("Horse with no Name"). I'm also buying a keyboard off of some teachers who are leaving this year, so soon we will be a duo. Fun times.

3. Looking at apartments online. I found a few websites for Shenzhen rentals that I've been checking out. We (I) want to move next year. Our Shagadelic pad has run its course. I'm not sure if this will really happen, but it's fun to look at places. I've seen some wild Asian decor already (worse than ours). I just really want a warmer apartment to bring our little one home to...there's only so much one can do to a blue/orange/red color-schemed living room.

4. Coaching Track and Field. It's been a while since my ol' track days...I forgot how fun it is to be out there.

5. Baking with mulberries. Love love love my itty bitty oven.

So, those are the hobbies that come to mind at the moment. I imagine we'll drop some and add some more before picking up Baby Girl. She may even come home to a decoupaged bedroom. :)

Happening, it's happening...

So the homestudy is over. We are exhausted. Really. Tired.

The first night we met our social worker and sorted paperwork. There were a couple of things missing, which distressed me more than it should have, since I had worked so hard to have everything perfectly in order. Turns out that the two items missing were easy to get together, especially with the help of dear friend B (again). Still, it was more of a rocky start than I had imagined.

The second day was FULL of interviews. During the morning we were interviewed together. Topics covered: how we met, our marriage, how we describe each other, our marriage thus far, how we resolve conflicts, thoughts on child rearing, what we will provide for our child, prioritizing, etc., etc. Shannon and I found that we had not thought of everything beforehand. Most things, yes, but thinking of adjective after adjective to describe everything about everything proved more challenging than expected.

After lunch Shannon had his interview alone first, then I had mine. Topics covered alone: background, Dad as a man, Dad as a father, Dad as a husband, what I learned from Dad, what I would change, then all the same with Mom; my successes/failures, how I describe myself, what I would change about myself, why I deserve to be a mother, etc., etc., etc. By this time it was hard to think of new things to say, and I was worn out to the max. Last night we vegged in front of the TV, zoned out, then hit the bed and slept hard.

This morning was very useful with an adoption training. The most important thing K (social worker) stressed was how we should not think of raising an "adopted" child, but a normal child. According to her, an experienced licensed child psychotherapist, the issues that most adoptive parents worry about are simply normal stages in child development, unless there has been systematic abuse in the life of the child. She said several times that children come into families in different ways, and that's that. As soon as we get our baby, she'll be our daughter, not our "adopted daughter." She recommended we read and study good books on child development and not worry too much about the special adoptive parenting books. This was new to me, and a great relief to Shannon.

Overall, the experience was draining and more difficult than anticipated. We're pretty sure she'll approve us, but...not as much of a shoe-in as we thought. The things we were forced to think about will be extremely helpful in the long run. Some stuff I am still processing and may blog about later. One thing is for sure: K is a serious professional and child advocate. I'm grateful for her experience and advice, and am confident in her competence (500 placements in China). This was a huge milestone for our adoption, and when it is complete, we'll really start rolling. This is really happening.

Turning 30 and my Big Idea

Around this time last year I made a goal: in one year, I would get my BIG IDEA.

As a Generation X-or-Y-er (I get to choose), I'm both gifted and plagued by possibilities and uncertainties. Shannon and I are always thinking about what's next...which country will we move to next, which career will we seamlessly slide into after teaching, which holiday we will plan next, which diploma/class I "need" next, etc. It's exciting and brings hope when we begin to feel bogged down by a monotonous schedule. This outlook on life is particularly suited to my personality, or so says my dad. He says that as an ENFP (Myers-Briggs personality test) I need to keep my options open for any opportunity that may come my way.

So, setting a due date for my BIG IDEA was a bit risky. I actually started stressing out about it already in about April of last year. At that time, only 11 months to go. And now it's here: The Ides of March. The day I turn 30.

Originally I thought my B.I was a business idea or plan that would set us up for life. Or, maybe I would discover my true passion and/or calling in life. While I really do like teaching a lot, and feel I'm pretty good at it, I still wonder. Should I have gone to med school? Law school? Was I meant to be something else? Of course, there's always time to switch...

Thankfully, I'm at ease at the Day approaches. Not only did I (we) get a Big Idea, we're making that Big Idea a reality this year, God willing. Our Big Idea (again, God willing) will yield us with both a child and a passion for Africa for the rest of our lives. BIG IDEA--check!

Check it out